Activism and Culture

When my husband and I lived in our last apartment, a couple of rooms that looked like had been stuck to the front of the house with drywall and clay, we had a thermostat that boasted “the comfort zone.” Now, because we had no insulation in the winter and no air conditioning in the summer, we rarely felt comfort, even in “the comfort zone,” but the idea made us laugh. It would have been great if we could have just turned the the dial to “the comfort zone” and we would have been happy–no homework, no debt, a clean house.

Anyway, the liberal jargon is “comfortable,” now, isn’t it? It used to be tolerant, but then we all realized how crappy we would feel if someone came up to us and said, “hey, I’m tolerant of you.” My response to that probably would be, “well I’m not tolerant of you,” and I’d probably use my Taekwondo skills in a less than defensive manner. The fact is, we don’t want to be tolerated. We want to be liked, but I think most of us are OK with it if someone doesn’t like us. We’re not so OK with it if someone isn’t comfortable around us.

“I’m just not comfortable with…”

I’ve used that phrase plenty of times. Here are some recent examples:

I’m not comfortable with lending you my car because I might go into labor and have no way to get to the hospital.

I’m not comfortable with this position because I feel like I am at risk both physically and financially.

I’m not comfortable signing a check and then letting someone else fill in the amount because fraud could occur.

In each of these situations, the phrase “I’m not comfortable” really meant I don’t trust. I don’t trust that my due date is still weeks away; I don’t trust that I will not over-extend myself in this job; I don’t trust that someone will use my signed check appropriately.

For this reason, we can’t just be tolerant and uncomfortable. We can’t say, “I’m tolerant with your lifestyle, but I’m just not comfortable…”

This means, “I know I have to say I tolerate you, but I don’t trust you.”  We don’t have to agree with all kinds of lifestyles, but we do have to be more than be tolerant. We need to be comfortable.

This weekend, I went to Chicago’s Gay Pride celebration. I’m not homosexual, nor do I know a great many homosexual people, but I’ve always prided myself on being tolerant. This weekend, though, I learned the importance of being comfortable. Though I may not have been comfortable at first–primarily because of the large crowds–I learned to become comfortable very quickly. I learned to trust.

I entered The Comfort Zone.

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